My Place of Birth

I was born in California, to an American father and a Spanish mother. I didn’t choose to be born there. I just happened to be.

My youngest daughter was born in Kazakhstan. My husband and I adopted her when she was around 3 years old. She didn’t choose to be born there. She didn’t choose us to adopt her. She just happened to be.

There was another girl her age sharing my daughter’s room in the orphanage. Let’s call her May. What a beautiful little thing! And how hard she tried to be the chosen one. You see, certain families could pick up the child they wanted to adopt. Couples walked around, trying to decide who the lucky one would be. My family and I couldn’t understand why that sweet doll was still there. One day May started playing with our son. They really had a great time. When the visit was over, May clung to him in desperation, screaming and crying, begging him to take her with us. Truly heartbreaking. I then asked the caregivers why she hadn’t been adopted yet and the answer was that she had 4 siblings and, according to local laws, could not be adopted without them. May didn’t choose to be born there. She just happened to be.

There are millions of stories like these, in which our place of origin very much determines our future, our life. Although we’re all part of one Humanity, we don’t seem to care for our species. Where we happen to be born completely affects our chances and our opportunities. Furthermore, it affects the way others look at us and treat us. Thinking about May and my own daughter I realize that life could be so much easier for everyone!

I imagine a different world, a different order; one in which we all thrive. Shouldn’t we all be guaranteed certain basic needs upon birth, just because we’re human? Wouldn’t that make sense? Shouldn’t all babies be given food and shelter until they grow up? Shouldn’t each member of our species have enough to live in dignity? The World has already been scientificall proven capable of feeding us all. Let those who want to treasure and accumulate do so, if they wish to, but let no more human beings become victims of their place of birth.

Haven’t we grown as a species? Only when all human beings have their basic needs covered just because they were born, will humanity really be humane. I can’t wait for that day!

Enjoy life, all of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – www.jessicajlockhart.com

My Life Story

You want me to do something. You tell me so. I can choose to do as you want me to or to refuse. It’s my story, my script. I write it. You’re nothing but a supporting character in my story. You might believe that you’re another protagonist in my narration but you’re not. There’s only one main role and it is mine. Whatever you do, I might decide to contemplate and include in my story.

I also want you to do something. I tell you so. You can choose to do as I want you to or to refuse. I can’t write your story for you. In your narration, I’m nothing but a supporting role. You get to write your own story and no matter what I do, you’ll take my actions and weave them into your plot.

According to humanologist Jessica J. Lockhart, this cinematographic metaphor explains how human beings handle their reality, how far their power goes and how to use it. In her latest book, What Story do You Tell Yourself? the author guides us step by step through this eye-opening metaphor which unveils an easy path to understanding human beings and their relationships with others and with reality.

“We get to choose what movie to live,” explains the author. “How we interpret our experiences will ultimately give shape to our life stories.”

On What Story do You Tell Yourself? by Jessica J. Lockhart, humanologist

www.jessicajlockhart.com

CREATING BELIEFS

Small excerpt from the humanology talk on CREATING BELIEFS presented last October 19, 2016 at the Inspirando Vidas platform on their weekly program Conversaciones con Jessica. Learn more about beliefs, worldviews, coaching, humanology and similiar topics by subscribing to my Youtube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/c/JessicaJLockhart

Let’s enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Order your copy of COACHING PARA TI (in Spanish) Here

I don’t Want to Be Perfect!

Why do you believe you know best? You seem to know whom I should be. You think you can tell me what to think, what to feel, what to do, what to say… You are convinced that you would be a better me than myself. And you want me to be that perfect me that you envision. So does the rest of the world. Everyone around me has their own opinion of the person I should be; a perfect one in their eyes. Every day I am told many different ways whom I should be: advertising, peers, family, society in general. Yes, they all know best. They all ask me to be that perfect person they see in my future. But I don’t want to be any of those “perfect people.” I just want to be me.

I want to be me with my flaws and my virtues. I want to make my own mistakes and learn from them. I want to be imperfect and not always pretending perfection. I want to be me!

I am who I am because of everything I experienced and learned so far in my life. All those lessons led me to believing what I believe and to seeing the world and reality the way I see them. You are who you are because of everything you experienced and learned so far in your life. That’s why you are you and I am me. That’s why we are different. Why do you think your experiences and lessons are better than mine? Yes, maybe you lived longer. Still. My lessons are uniquely mine and I am the only person in the whole world who learned exactly the ones I happened to experience. You are not inside me. You don’t really, really, really know what I know. That’s the reason why I see reality the way I see it. So, please, stop trying to convince me that your vision of reality is better than mine. I could never see it the way you do and you could never see it the way I do.

Given my experience and my lessons, I am who I am and maybe I am the only me I could be. Who knows, maybe you would be like me if you had only experienced and lived my life.

So, listen to me, world, I don’t want to be the perfect me you all dream of. I don’t want to be the me that you imagine from your own experience and world view. I can’t be. I am me. The real me. And that’s the person I want to be.

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

I am Part of Humanity

I happened to be born here! My husband happened to be born somewhere else! And both my children happened to be born in different countries… Had my daughter stayed in her home country, her life would have been very, very different.

So how can I defend being a native citizen of any one country? I was born in one, grew up in another one and then lived in 5 more. So far, I have been a citizen of 7 countries because that’s where I lived and where my children grew up. And I learned to understand, respect and love all of them and their peoples.

How could I ever boast? I was born here just by chance! Nobody chooses where to be born. We are born, that’s it. Or did you choose before coming down here? When people defend the supremacy of their home country over other countries, I can´t help but think: “you didn’t actually choose to be born here! It was a matter of luck!” And that makes me then question who we are to doubt and judge others who happened to be born somewhere else. Did they get a chance to choose?

And once we’re born in a certain place, we can but learn what those living in it teach us. Unless we’re exposed to other cultures and countries, ours is the only one we know. Once again, we don’t choose what we’re exposed to, are we?

After living in so many countries and getting to know so many cultures, there is one thing I did learn: we are much more alike than different. I haven’t met one single person in ANY of those countries who didn’t want to have a good life and an even better one for their children. That is common to all humanity. We all want to have good lives and enjoy our time here. 

That’s why I defend being a part of humanity, and not a member of a certain country where I… happened to be born. And you, are you part of humanity?

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

This Week – Esta semana

Book – Reserva:

www.jessicajlockhart.eventbrite.com

IN ENGLISH:

Tuesday:

International Club of Berne. Meeting on Philosophies. Jessica J. Lockhart will participate as one of the speakers on the subject of: “Personal Responsibility in the Here and Now.” To attend, send her an email to theoptimistinme@aim.com

Tuesday and Thursday:

One-to-one sessions with Jessica J. Lockhart. Zentrum 5

Saturday:

Seminar: “Find and Define Your True Self.”

IN SPANISH:

Martes y jueves:

Sesiones individuales con Jessica J. Lockhart en Zentrum 5

Miércoles:

4ª lección del curso de humanología: Diseña y vive hoy el futuro que sueñas con el tema: “Las creencias y los miedos.”

Conferencia gratuita en Inspirando Vidas. Tema: “Los diferentes niveles de perdón.”

Sábado:

Seminario: “Busca y define tu yo más real.”

Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology-humanología

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Do You Feel Guilty?

When did it happen? When did that terrible thing that you’re blaming yourself for take place? How long have you been feeling guilty?

You look back and you see other things you could have done. You look back and clearly imagine other possible solutions. But, did they truly exist back then? Did you really have the knowledge, the wisdom, the tools and the means to do anything different from what you did? Did you really have any other choice? Not today, not with your current knowledge and perspective but then; knowing only what you knew then. Isn’t it true, therefore, that you did it the best you could? That you really, truly tried to act the best possible way?

It’s so easy to look back and think we could have done better! Yes, of course we could have, if we’d had today’s knowledge! But we didn’t have it. We only knew what we knew. Not what we know today.

Every time you look back you blame yourself again. But you’re not really blaming yourself for erring, for making a mistake, for not doing it the way you should have. You’re really blaming yourself for not having had the knowledge you only have now. You’re blaming yourself for not having reached the conclusions you reached today, in spite of lacking the experience or the understanding to do so.

For a very long time, you’ve been suffering and blaming yourself, often letting guilt ruin an otherwise perfectly fine day.

Do you blame yourself for wetting your bed when you were four months old? No! You didn’t know any better, did you? Why, then, do you still blame yourself for things you only know today?

Stop looking back at yourself and using the knowledge you currently have to punish the unknowing, naive person you used to be. You did it the best you could and knew how to back then. Stop wasting all that energy on useless guilt. Guilt only consumes your energy and yields nothing but pain in return. Today you know much more than you did in the past. Great. Use it to avoid similar mistakes in the future and continue doing it the best you can and know how to.

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Labels

Labels prevent us from seeing the human being behind them. Once a person is labelled, we immediately see that person through the label. The label might affect our complete vision of that human being or only part of it but only by looking behind the label will we be able to truly see the person as he or she truly is.

Labels act as filters in front of our eyes and hearts. By labelling other human beings, we’re turning them into whatever their label says. We look at them and it’s like if we’re wearing tainted glasses. Instead of coloring what we see, they turn the focus of our attention into something different, something we expect to see, the label we have in mind.

There are all kinds of labels. Some are empowering, some are limiting and diminishing. Whenever we judge and label, we turn the labelled person into something else, something defined by the label itself. So, if I label somebody “disabled,” that person automatically becomes “less abled” in my mind and will from then on be perceived as such by me. If I then spread that labelled image, other people will also see a “less abled” human being in front of them.

Furthermore, from the moment in which I start seeing a person through a label, that’s the way I will treat the human being behind it. When a person is “less abled” in my eyes, my behavior changes. That person receives a special treatment just because I perceive him or her as “less abled.”

Imagine what damage other labels can do! Idiot, ugly, poor, slow, shy, rich (yes, even this label can be very limiting!) and a whole list of others. It’s been scientifically proven, for instance, that people labelled “fat” are very often perceived (and treated) as less reliable, less efficient, lazier and less healthy. Given our education and culture, the label “fat” comes together with certain preconceptions. By seeing a person through that label we often perceive an image distorted by our cultural preconceptions instead of the real human being.

If a person’s label is widespread enough, he or she might even start believing it about themselves and acting the part. Label a child something enough times and they will become their label. “Shy” is a very common one. Children labelled “shy” usually believe their labels and grow into shy young adults. This effect can often be seen in schools. Whenever a child is labelled something by teachers, “slow,” “problematic,” “trouble maker,” “gifted,” the label spreads from year to year, from teacher to teacher and from teachers to classmates. The labelled child suffers from the pygmalion effect and is perceived and seen through the label and treated accordingly.

The truth, then, is that the real human being is not the one we perceive. What we see is a distorted version of the human being. And the distortion is caused by the label. Labels distort our understanding and perception of other human beings.

It is true that experience can help us get rid of certain labels. I might see the person behind the label at a certain point because of something; maybe an event opens my eyes or the labelled person does something that forces me to see them behind the label. What happens then is that the label disappears. I stop seeing the person through it. There’s no label anymore.

I encourage you to think about the people you know, about your friends and loved ones in particular. What labels do you have for each of them? Can you see behind them?

Whenever you meet somebody new, can you see the person and avoid new labels?

And what’s even more important still, do you label yourself anything? Can you see yourself behind your own labels?

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J.  Lockhart – humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Love – el amor

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Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida

Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology/humanología

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Humanology Seminar: Find and Define Your True Self

Lots of people devote many hours to complaining and lamenting their fate or their situation. How many of them do decide to take control and change their circumstances so they can be happier? Are you one of them? How many devote a little effort to questioning their reality and becoming happier and more fulfilled?

This seminar constitutes a very important first step in the search for a more rewarding life. By offering practical, daily tools, it turns into a personal guide that can be applied from moment one and lead us into knowing ourselves better while helping us define who it is that we want others to see in us.

Through theory and practical exercises that require no personal details, attendees discover new ways to understand their reality and the image they project, while developing a personal development plan for themselves that will open the doors to a future over which they have greater control.

What are you waiting for, don’t you want to stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself? What’s preventing you from taking control over who you are and who others see in you? Isn’t it worth a day of your life to find that door and open it? I’m showing it to you. Open it. I’ll be by your side.

Book your tickets HERE

Learn now to enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Ego Also Matters

For years now, I’ve been hearing people blame “EGO” for everything and despise it, advising everyone else to stop listening to their egos and somehow turn a deaf hear to them.

But our egos play a fundamental role in our lives. Their job is to confirm our beliefs. And they do it with a passion.

We need beliefs. Beliefs are our foundations and whenever they are shaken, so are we. Without beliefs, we’d stumble. We’d have real difficulties making our minds up for even the smallest things. That’s why ego needs to confirm our beliefs over and over again. That’s the reason behind ego’s persistent voice. That’s ego’s role.

Ego will obviously defend all beliefs, not just the ones we approve of. Ego doesn’t question them, just enforces them.

So next time somebody tells you to turn a blind eye on your ego, remember that you also need it to stand on your own two feet. Question your beliefs if you want to, but don’t blame ego for everything that happens to you. Ego is just doing its very important job. Appreciate the work it does and grow together with it.

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Inspiring Question for Today

Would you like to ponder on an inspiring question each day and thus grow as a human being?

Register now for your free inspiring question everyday and you will receive it directly on your email.

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Enjoy  life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanologist

www.jessicajlockhart.com

The Cat

This cat comes into our house almost everyday. It doesn’t belong to us and we’ve seen it in other places in town. Whenever he comes into our place, he meows loudly and looks for one of us to cuddle it.

In the years we’ve been here, we’ve discovered that its favorite food is carbohydrates. Yes, he prefers bread or macaroni over fish and meet or even cheese. It likes to be stroked only on the head and neck and any loud noise scares it. We got to know it a little bit.

But we’re moving somewhere else next week. The cat will stay here. It belongs to somebody else. It has a collar with a little pendant hanging and clearly knows its way around town.

I think this cat came to be my teacher. It taught me a valuable lesson by just showing up, meowing and letting me pet it.

These three years here, the cat made us all in my house feel somewhat special by coming to visit. Just its presence and the fact that it was coming to our house and no other made us feel somehow chosen. And that got me thinking… can’t I do something to others that will also make them feel special? The cat taught me that just a little means a lot. Maybe I can do something, even if small, to make others feel good.

And you, what could you do today to make somebody feel special?

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology

http://www.jessicajlockhart.com

Change – Cambio

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Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology-humanología

www.jessicajlockhart.com

Online Humanology Course

If you can’t find your right place in this world; if you always feel tired or blue; if life looks like something terribly complicated; if you have problems you don’t know how to approach anymore… this course is for you.

Learn to see the world from a different perspective, a perspective that can illuminate you, that will open your eyes to new realities filled with practical tools for you to use. 

We start. September 20. WORLDVIEWS will be the first session in this intensive humanology course.

Remember to book your seats HERE, to attend online or in person.

What are you waiting for? Start living NOW the kind of future you want. 

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology. www.jessicajlockhart.com

Every morning…

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart

You Choose

Although people can talk and tell you how to do things, the truth is that…

• you choose what to think
• you choose what to believe
• you choose what to do
• you choose what to say
• you choose how to take things
• you choose how to face your circumstances
• you choose how to tackle problems
• you choose how fast you want to do things
• you choose which words you use
• you choose where to go
• you choose how to treat others
• you choose how to approach life
• you choose how to judge yourself
• you choose how to judge others
• you choose how to live
• you choose how to feel
• you choose how to view life
• you choose who you are and much more

Why not choose to enjoy life, then, ALL of it?

Jessica J. Lockhart

Responsibility – Responsabilidad

Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida,

Jessica J. Lockhart

Nobody… Nadie…

Enjoy life… Disfruta de la vida…

Jessica J. Lockhart

Thoughts…!

For example,

‘I can’t do it.’ ‘I don’t deserve this.’ ‘Why does everything always happen to me?’ 

or rather…

‘It’s not easy but I’ll try.’ ‘Life is challenging.’ ‘This is another chance to grow and learn.’

And,

‘They must be talking about me.’ ‘I look horrible.’ ‘That’s so offensive!’

or rather…

‘I’m focusing on whatever it is I am doing.’ ‘What do I like about me today?’ ‘Nobody’s words can hurt me.’

Our thoughts shape our world. How you choose to express them will empower or debilitate you. Choose wisely.

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Jessica J. Lockhart