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Many people come to talk to me and tell me that theirs is a very ordinary life and that they, themselves, are very ordinary people. It always strikes me as something quite odd, when they say that. How can they be ordinary? All human beings are extraordinary just by being unique and different from the rest of humanity, even if they happen to share a few characteristics or habits with others.
Are you one of them? Are you one of those who consider themselves ordinary? Look at yourself. Really get up, grab a mirror and deeply look at yourself. What do you see? You are the result of billions of permutations and centuries of genetic development to produce just you. Only you. Nobody else. How ordinary is that!
Now, look again. Look deeply into your eyes and try to be aware of your existence, your being, your body, your YOU. How ordinary is that, too? Feel your reality. You are aware of it. You’re not an object. You’re not a painting or an animal. You can think and sense at the same time. You can consciously be aware of being. Once again, how ordinary is that?
And now, please, turn your attention to your life. To all your choices and decisions. To all the steps you’ve ever taken. Nobody chose, decided and walked exactly the same way you did. As a result and combined with the unique way in which you see the world, your life is also only yours and different from the lives of all other billions of people.
Are you still feeling ordinary? Because I firmly believe that you’re rather extraordinary. Each human being is a masterpiece, an extraordinary masterpiece. And so are you. So raise your head high and be proud of your uniqueness.
Enjoy life, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – www.jessicajlockhart.com
Lucern, Bern, online… or maybe all of them! 😊 Enjoy life, all of it.
Details – Detalles : www.jessicajlockhart.eventbrite.com
En Lucerna, en Berna, online… ¡o tal vez en todos! 😊 Disfruta de la vida, de toda ella.
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – humanología – www.jessicajlockhart.com
Clik here: INSPIRING PRODUCTS FOR YOU
Are you looking for something special to give your loved ones this year? Look no further. 🙂 Inspiring books, games, accessories… all by me for you and yours 🙂
Enjoy life, all of it… and help others do so, too
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – www.jessicajlockhart.com
I was born in California, to an American father and a Spanish mother. I didn’t choose to be born there. I just happened to be.
My youngest daughter was born in Kazakhstan. My husband and I adopted her when she was around 3 years old. She didn’t choose to be born there. She didn’t choose us to adopt her. She just happened to be.
There was another girl her age sharing my daughter’s room in the orphanage. Let’s call her May. What a beautiful little thing! And how hard she tried to be the chosen one. You see, certain families could pick up the child they wanted to adopt. Couples walked around, trying to decide who the lucky one would be. My family and I couldn’t understand why that sweet doll was still there. One day May started playing with our son. They really had a great time. When the visit was over, May clung to him in desperation, screaming and crying, begging him to take her with us. Truly heartbreaking. I then asked the caregivers why she hadn’t been adopted yet and the answer was that she had 4 siblings and, according to local laws, could not be adopted without them. May didn’t choose to be born there. She just happened to be.
There are millions of stories like these, in which our place of origin very much determines our future, our life. Although we’re all part of one Humanity, we don’t seem to care for our species. Where we happen to be born completely affects our chances and our opportunities. Furthermore, it affects the way others look at us and treat us. Thinking about May and my own daughter I realize that life could be so much easier for everyone!
I imagine a different world, a different order; one in which we all thrive. Shouldn’t we all be guaranteed certain basic needs upon birth, just because we’re human? Wouldn’t that make sense? Shouldn’t all babies be given food and shelter until they grow up? Shouldn’t each member of our species have enough to live in dignity? The World has already been scientificall proven capable of feeding us all. Let those who want to treasure and accumulate do so, if they wish to, but let no more human beings become victims of their place of birth.
Haven’t we grown as a species? Only when all human beings have their basic needs covered just because they were born, will humanity really be humane. I can’t wait for that day!
Enjoy life, all of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – www.jessicajlockhart.com
You want me to do something. You tell me so. I can choose to do as you want me to or to refuse. It’s my story, my script. I write it. You’re nothing but a supporting character in my story. You might believe that you’re another protagonist in my narration but you’re not. There’s only one main role and it is mine. Whatever you do, I might decide to contemplate and include in my story.
I also want you to do something. I tell you so. You can choose to do as I want you to or to refuse. I can’t write your story for you. In your narration, I’m nothing but a supporting role. You get to write your own story and no matter what I do, you’ll take my actions and weave them into your plot.
According to humanologist Jessica J. Lockhart, this cinematographic metaphor explains how human beings handle their reality, how far their power goes and how to use it. In her latest book, What Story do You Tell Yourself? the author guides us step by step through this eye-opening metaphor which unveils an easy path to understanding human beings and their relationships with others and with reality.
“We get to choose what movie to live,” explains the author. “How we interpret our experiences will ultimately give shape to our life stories.”
On What Story do You Tell Yourself? by Jessica J. Lockhart, humanologist
Personal Essence@ is a method designed by humanologist and author Jessica J. Lockhart to help us understand and know ourselves better. Based on her observations and knowledge, Jessica discovered this tool and developed its method to help human beings discover and understand their most basic characteristics.
Jessica defends that all human beings are unique upon birth. Personalities are developed based on our experiences but there’s something there even before that. She called it “personal essence.” A human being’s personal essence corresponds to a certain concept. It could be anything. Some real examples of personal essences are: light, Spring morning breeze, lioness, lifesaver… The person shares almost all characteristics of his or her personal essence. Thus, if a person’s personal essence is for instance, fire, that person will be warm or hot, depending on the circumstances, will need constant feeding and oxygen to survive, will never stop moving, etc.
Jessica J. Lockhart can now help you find out what your personal essence is. By knowing it, you will be able to better understand yourself, your relationships with others and your own reactions to the world. You’ll also be better able to make choices and decide on things based on who you truly are.
Join us next December 4th in Guadalajara, Mexico, for a practical Personal Essence® workshop with humanologist Jessica J. Lockhart and discover what you are.
DETAILS: PERSONAL ESSENCE WORKSHOP
What Story do You Tell Yourself? by Jessica J. Lockhart
‘Feelings are part of your personal sphere. Nobody can make you feel anything toward them. Whatever you feel has nothing to do with their behavior or actions.’ I know you might be a bit shocked by my words now. They’re not what most people say or believe. But bear with me for a little while longer, so I can explain myself, because this is an important gift I’d like to give you.
We grow up learning that others are to be blamed or thanked for our feelings. We spend our lives looking at others in order to decide how to feel. If I feel upset, it’s because X did something to me. If I am happy, it’s because Y made me so. But I disagree with that lesson. I don’t believe that anybody has the power to make us feel anything. I believe that we own our feelings completely. We choose how to feel about events.
When somebody does something, it is in your power to interpret that action as something harmful, neutral or even positive. You take those actions and study them against your previous knowledge and experience. You, very quickly and subconsciously, decide then what they mean. Imagine you have grown to believe that that specific type of behavior is negative, you will feel a negative reaction inside you. But another person whose life experience taught him that the same behavior is positive, would feel a positive reaction inside. It is therefore not the behavior, the action or the event in itself that causes our reactions, but our previous experience and knowledge that determine how we’re going to feel about something.
We’re all born without preconceptions. If a baby receives only abuse, he might grow up seeking abuse as a form of affection, which is an extreme illustration of the process.
We’re taught how to feel: ‘this is good, that is bad.’ We then feel whatever it is that we learned to feel. When somebody does something that should make us feel a certain way, we make them responsible for our feelings; we “blame” them when, in reality, it is us interpreting their actions that triggers our feelings. The same action can make us feel good today but bad 10 years from know, if our life experience teaches us a different perspective. Look back if you want to see what I mean. Isn’t there anything that you used to consider “bad” or “negative” that you find somehow “good” or “positive” today?
I encourage you to take control of your own feelings. They only belong to you. Nobody has any power over them.
Imagine that somebody slaps you. It is your choice how you interpret it. We’re taught to think something like “that person hurt me.” What I propose, instead, is that you start interpreting events more along the lines of… “I feel… by that person’s action.” It is you who feels; it is you who interprets; it is your decision. Take the power away from others. That power is yours, only yours.
‘But bad is bad,’ you might tell me. And this is my gift to you. Whatever others do, it is for you to take it an such a way that you feel empowered. Even if you think that a certain action is bad, you might choose to take it as a lesson or as a trigger to do something instead of just choosing to feel hurt or damaged. Take responsibility for your feelings, owe them completely, and you will have control of a great part of your life.
Enjoy life, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology
Personal Essence® is a tool developed by humanologist Jessica J. Lockhart to help us understand where we come from and who we truly are. By identifying our personal essence, we come to explain our past and present and can therefore plan our future better.
The seminar will be open to adults and will have a maximum level of participants. Light refreshments will be offered throughout the day but participants will have to provide their own lunch. There’s a couple of restaurants in the vicinity of the venue.
Babysitting services can be supplied upon request. Please, consult with us by sending us an email to theoptimistinme@aim.com
An old friend of mine just wrote and told me, among many other things, that his part of the world seems to be wallowing in negativity. I open Facebook and find dozens of positive messages encouraging me to look at life with hope and happiness.
It’s funny… we look at the same world and see a completely different and sometimes even opposing reality. That’s because of our world views. We see what we see, not what we want to see. Our past experiences and lessons in life shape our world view. We look at things, at people, at animals and see what we somehow “learned” to see. We can’t see them any other way. Not because we don’t want to, but because we are not able to.
Therefore, trying to convince somebody else to see what we see is not just a matter of persuasion. That person doesn’t share our world view. That person doesn’t have our experiences and lessons. How could he or she see what we see? Getting upset because they don’t doesn’t make any sense then, does it?
Let me give you a very, very simple example to illustrate what I mean. Imagine that you grow up believing that being fat is ugly. Certain cultures foster and strengthen that belief. You might see an overweight person and perceive a somewhat deffective human being or just not so attractive. Another person who grows up in a culture in which being fat is beautiful (there are some of those, as well) will consider that same human being a delight to look at. The person being scrutinized is the same! The only difference between both situations is the world view of the person looking.
So next time you try to convince somebody to see things your way, remember that that person doesn’t share your world view. It might help you, too.
Enjoy life, all of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology
Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – humanología
Small excerpt from the humanology talk on CREATING BELIEFS presented last October 19, 2016 at the Inspirando Vidas platform on their weekly program Conversaciones con Jessica. Learn more about beliefs, worldviews, coaching, humanology and similiar topics by subscribing to my Youtube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/c/JessicaJLockhart
Let’s enjoy life, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology
Order your copy of COACHING PARA TI (in Spanish) Here
Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – humanología
Why do you believe you know best? You seem to know whom I should be. You think you can tell me what to think, what to feel, what to do, what to say… You are convinced that you would be a better me than myself. And you want me to be that perfect me that you envision. So does the rest of the world. Everyone around me has their own opinion of the person I should be; a perfect one in their eyes. Every day I am told many different ways whom I should be: advertising, peers, family, society in general. Yes, they all know best. They all ask me to be that perfect person they see in my future. But I don’t want to be any of those “perfect people.” I just want to be me.
I want to be me with my flaws and my virtues. I want to make my own mistakes and learn from them. I want to be imperfect and not always pretending perfection. I want to be me!
I am who I am because of everything I experienced and learned so far in my life. All those lessons led me to believing what I believe and to seeing the world and reality the way I see them. You are who you are because of everything you experienced and learned so far in your life. That’s why you are you and I am me. That’s why we are different. Why do you think your experiences and lessons are better than mine? Yes, maybe you lived longer. Still. My lessons are uniquely mine and I am the only person in the whole world who learned exactly the ones I happened to experience. You are not inside me. You don’t really, really, really know what I know. That’s the reason why I see reality the way I see it. So, please, stop trying to convince me that your vision of reality is better than mine. I could never see it the way you do and you could never see it the way I do.
Given my experience and my lessons, I am who I am and maybe I am the only me I could be. Who knows, maybe you would be like me if you had only experienced and lived my life.
So, listen to me, world, I don’t want to be the perfect me you all dream of. I don’t want to be the me that you imagine from your own experience and world view. I can’t be. I am me. The real me. And that’s the person I want to be.
Enjoy life, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology
I happened to be born here! My husband happened to be born somewhere else! And both my children happened to be born in different countries… Had my daughter stayed in her home country, her life would have been very, very different.
So how can I defend being a native citizen of any one country? I was born in one, grew up in another one and then lived in 5 more. So far, I have been a citizen of 7 countries because that’s where I lived and where my children grew up. And I learned to understand, respect and love all of them and their peoples.
How could I ever boast? I was born here just by chance! Nobody chooses where to be born. We are born, that’s it. Or did you choose before coming down here? When people defend the supremacy of their home country over other countries, I can´t help but think: “you didn’t actually choose to be born here! It was a matter of luck!” And that makes me then question who we are to doubt and judge others who happened to be born somewhere else. Did they get a chance to choose?
And once we’re born in a certain place, we can but learn what those living in it teach us. Unless we’re exposed to other cultures and countries, ours is the only one we know. Once again, we don’t choose what we’re exposed to, are we?
After living in so many countries and getting to know so many cultures, there is one thing I did learn: we are much more alike than different. I haven’t met one single person in ANY of those countries who didn’t want to have a good life and an even better one for their children. That is common to all humanity. We all want to have good lives and enjoy our time here.
That’s why I defend being a part of humanity, and not a member of a certain country where I… happened to be born. And you, are you part of humanity?
Enjoy life, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology
Details – Detalles: CLICK-PINCHA
Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – humanología
We’ve all forgiven somebody for something. At least in our minds. But have we truly forgiven them in our hearts? In our very cells?
According to the dictionary, forgiving means granting pardon, absolving. In my own definition, forgiving only applies to the first two types of forgiveness: in your mind and in your heart. Forgiving in our minds means understanding that the offender might have had some reasons to do what he or she did. Forgiving in our hearts implies accepting what the person did and wishing to leave it behind.
We sometimes forgive in our minds and hearts to discover that the memory doesn’t go away but pops up unexpectedly to bring us back to the event and trigger similar feelings in us again. I believe that is because we haven’t truly forgiven.
True forgiveness only happens when you can let go of the memory and the feelings attached to it. Until then, it will come back to haunt you and make you suffer again from the pain or the sadness that it originally created. It is not until you can finally let go of the memory, therefore, until it only becomes a recollection, something to bring back at will, that you truly, completely forgive… others or yourself.
A memory is something that comes back to us triggered by a sound, a word, a situation, a smell… A recollection is a memory we ourselves bring back. Turning a memory into a recollection that we can bring back or discard is the ultimate forgiveness process because it strips the memory of its sentimental power. Being a process, it can be learned and mastered.
Teaching you the complete process goes beyond the scope of this little post. Being aware that true, absolute forgiveness involves that third level is the first and very important step in that direction. Feel free to contact me if you want to learn more about the process and tools of absolute forgiveness or if there’s a memory (or several) haunting you and not letting you be happy.
Remember, life is to be enjoyed, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology
Book – Reserva:
www.jessicajlockhart.eventbrite.com
IN ENGLISH:
Tuesday:
International Club of Berne. Meeting on Philosophies. Jessica J. Lockhart will participate as one of the speakers on the subject of: “Personal Responsibility in the Here and Now.” To attend, send her an email to theoptimistinme@aim.com
Tuesday and Thursday:
One-to-one sessions with Jessica J. Lockhart. Zentrum 5
Saturday:
Seminar: “Find and Define Your True Self.”
IN SPANISH:
Martes y jueves:
Sesiones individuales con Jessica J. Lockhart en Zentrum 5
Miércoles:
4ª lección del curso de humanología: Diseña y vive hoy el futuro que sueñas con el tema: “Las creencias y los miedos.”
Conferencia gratuita en Inspirando Vidas. Tema: “Los diferentes niveles de perdón.”
Sábado:
Seminario: “Busca y define tu yo más real.”
Enjoy life – Disfruta de la vida,
Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology-humanología
When did it happen? When did that terrible thing that you’re blaming yourself for take place? How long have you been feeling guilty?
You look back and you see other things you could have done. You look back and clearly imagine other possible solutions. But, did they truly exist back then? Did you really have the knowledge, the wisdom, the tools and the means to do anything different from what you did? Did you really have any other choice? Not today, not with your current knowledge and perspective but then; knowing only what you knew then. Isn’t it true, therefore, that you did it the best you could? That you really, truly tried to act the best possible way?
It’s so easy to look back and think we could have done better! Yes, of course we could have, if we’d had today’s knowledge! But we didn’t have it. We only knew what we knew. Not what we know today.
Every time you look back you blame yourself again. But you’re not really blaming yourself for erring, for making a mistake, for not doing it the way you should have. You’re really blaming yourself for not having had the knowledge you only have now. You’re blaming yourself for not having reached the conclusions you reached today, in spite of lacking the experience or the understanding to do so.
For a very long time, you’ve been suffering and blaming yourself, often letting guilt ruin an otherwise perfectly fine day.
Do you blame yourself for wetting your bed when you were four months old? No! You didn’t know any better, did you? Why, then, do you still blame yourself for things you only know today?
Stop looking back at yourself and using the knowledge you currently have to punish the unknowing, naive person you used to be. You did it the best you could and knew how to back then. Stop wasting all that energy on useless guilt. Guilt only consumes your energy and yields nothing but pain in return. Today you know much more than you did in the past. Great. Use it to avoid similar mistakes in the future and continue doing it the best you can and know how to.
Enjoy life, ALL of it,
Jessica J. Lockhart, humanology
HUMANOLOGY - HUMANOLOGÍA® 